So you’re a wedding vendor looking to book more queer weddings and wondering how you can be a better ally in general? Let’s start with the difference between being queer friendly and actually affirming queer relationships.
Simply put, being an LGBTQ friendly wedding vendor means you’re open to working with all couples. Maybe you have the little rainbow emoji in your Instagram bio, an “all are welcome here!” on the footer of your website, and one or two weddings or styled shoots in your portfolio of queer couples. These are all a great start!
LGBTQ-affirming takes it a step further. This is how you can show potential and current clients that you’re truly rooting for them and celebrate them and their unique love story for what it is. Here are some ways to do better:
Take a deep dive into your materials for gendered language.
Check every page of your website, your social media, your contact form, and all your guides and tools, for gendered language. If you’re truly LGBTQ-affirming, your brand won’t speak exclusively to “brides and grooms.” Also ditch terms like “bridal party.” It takes a sec to get used to saying “the couple” (also try “nearlyweds” and “marriers”!) and “the wedding party,” but it’s so worth it in the long run.
When explaining how to put together the family photo shot list in my questionnaire, I refer to clients as Partner 1 and Partner 2. I also ask the couple if they have terms they’d like to be called on their wedding day (like bride & groom, beloveds, nearlyweds, etc.) and I ask for a list of names & pronouns for everyone in the wedding party. It’s not always one side of girls and one side of guys!
It takes practice in your life too, not just your written materials. Truly refer to every couple gender neutrally. If you’re a photographer, practice gender neutral posing. Assume nothing! Ask for every couple’s pronouns. Write them down and practice before the big day if you have to.
Representation is important!
Beyond inclusivity statements, couples want to see other clients on your website that look like them. Saying “LGBTQ-friendly!” but only featuring straight couples on your portfolio isn’t doing any good for you OR potential couples who want to see themselves in your work. Would you book a photographer for portraits that only has couples on their feed? Or would you book a florist for a floral arch if their website only shows bouquets? People want to see themselves, their love story, and their wedding vision as a possibility. If you’re an ally and you don’t have representation in your work, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Ask your queer friends to model, or do a model call or styled shoot.
Sure, it’s easy to say you’re welcome to working with anyone. But you’re doing a disservice to your queer clients if you don’t do your due diligence to get comfortable and educated, and instead end up tiptoe-ing around what makes them them.
It’s truly so simple to be a better ally for the people in your life and the clients you interact with in your business, and that starts with affirming all love. Show that you care, that you’re rooting for them, that you’ll go above and beyond to cherish and capture their love authentically.
